Manifesting Is Fun!

After I wrote earlier today, I was going to meet a friend to do some ballet before sitting down to work. Turns out I had to use my last few dollars towards my gas tank, and so I phoned my friend letting her know I wasn't going to be able to pay for class. My friend (no joke, she is an angel from heaven) suggests I meet her at yoga, her treat. Slightly hesitating as I enter the typical crowed streets at rush hour, I make it to the yoga class just in time. Feeling much better after taking care of my body, the yoga instructor ends the class with telling us about upcoming events for the yoga studio and that he is involved in. It just so happens he's involved with an organization called Imagine 1 Day that provides primary education to children in Ethiopia. Coincidence, I think not. We chatted a bit and I very much look forward to seeing what evolves from this amazing new friend and resource.

Check out the link to Imagine 1 Day here:

http://imagine1day.org/

Doing What You Love, Loving What You Do

So, I've had a few breakthroughs within the last few weeks, and I very much apologize for the lack of updates. I know that writing the story as I go will be great to reflect on in the future, as well as, may help others that decided to start creating their own path even though they might now have any idea of where to begin. Regardless, with my current way of life, I've found it very difficult to live anywhere but in the present moment. Looking too far into the future creates a sense of urgency or anxiety when thinking about all of the things that "have to be done." Looking at the past allows too much time for judgement in how much more I feel I should have accomplished within a span of time. After a long weekend of exploring what I want to accomplish and how to create it, I'm experiencing the best way is to be specific and direct in what I want, tackle what I can accomplish in the moment, and take time to live, laugh, and have fun.

Being direct and specific: One of my many faults is that I have too many thoughts in my head spewing out at any given moment, and I don't allow one thought to mature and manifest. Instead, I get excited, start working towards the creation of the idea, and then manifest parts of my vision because I (excuse my language) half a**** defining and solidifying all that I wanted to create. Noticing this pattern has not only been beneficial in my own creation processes towards business but also when communicating with others that wish to help CreateACTivity grow, as well as, in my personal life. I'm learning that the universe will give you what you ask for, but if you're not specific in what you want, the universal energy will only give you the specific (or not so specific) intent that was projected out, and has she seems to have a funny sense of humor too!

Tackling what I can accomplish in the moment: It's so easy to think of all the things that I currently need to progress my business forward, but it's been a valuable lesson to know what can be accomplished with the current resources we have and what needs to wait for more resources to come in to place. Currently we need a professional looking and acting website, funding for operations, graphic design work, a new camera (since ours broke), a documentary to gain exposure and help tell our story, speaking engagements to increase exposure, partnerships with for profit companies to help increase funding... and of course this is all needed for one thing and one thing only, to increase cash flow and help fund the facial reconstructions of Noma victims. When thinking of all these tasks at once I feel nothing but overwhelmed. When I focus on what we do have and how I can progress with these tools at this specific moment in time, I am able to grab on to tangible goals and expectations that snowball into more opportunities, connections, and resources. For instance, I need partners with for profit organizations that are willing to donate a portion of sales, I have two of them, so I will start there.  I need marketing material, I have a hang tag designed, I will print as many hang tags as we can to put on our partners products to start creating revenue. I need a professional website so that we can "look more legit" and receive donations through "call to action" opportunities created online and through speaking engagements. I've attempted to find ways around it, but the truth is: websites cost money, so for the time being, we will use our current blog. With the revenue gained through product sales from our partners, we can then pay to upgrade new revenue generating programs such as our website/social media, which will ultimately create more funding for the facial reconstructions of NOMA victims. We also would like video exposure, we have met a student willing to practice her skill sets on us, so we will let her do so, to keep expenses low and still expose our story. Now that I have babbled enough to loose your attention, the main goal of the babble is to show that we currently have steps that we can accomplish that will lead to more opportunities. Steps that can all be done with the resources that we have in our hands right now.

Live, laugh, and have fun: this has been the hardest part of manifesting for me to integrate and accept, a part that is crucial for success. Surprisingly, I'm finding that fun and laughter are a necessity in my manifesting process. The past few weeks, I've learned that productivity is more fluent when I'm happy. The law of attraction I guess, positive energy breeds positive advancements. Breaking away from the "to do list" and the computer has allowed energy to flow naturally rather than put pressure on a presumed outcome. The past week I have worked with what I'm able, and rather than sitting at my computer emailing and TRYING to make progress happen, I went out and had fun. I allowed myself to separate from work. To live and to laugh and be irresponsible. In that space of having fun, contacts have come out of the woodwork - so to speak, and I've been able to let my thoughts breathe and solidify so that I can create what I actually want, rather than bits and pieces of half conceived ideas. Fun has also allowed for me to step out of the box and away from what I already know, so that I can gain new perspectives and create new ideas that might not have had the opportunity to surface had I stayed in "work mode."

Speaking of fun: one of the things I did last week was watch Harold and Maude. If you haven't seen it, please do! Maude has some life lessons to share with you!

All My Best,

Es-Bee

"The Only Thing Constant In Life Is Change"

Quick update without wasting too much time: Car is stocked to the top with all of my belongings once again. Further motivation gained through the experience of working a part time job that stimulates only through human interaction of customers and co-workers rather than the daily procedures and learned and daily operating tasks. Working a job that lacks consistent mental stimulation has helped me to let go of my ego. Lessons learned in regards to my procrastination of looking for a savior who will magically help create the vision of my company. With new gained insight, the cord has been cut to the waiting game. It is up to me, there aren't any excuses for stalling the growth of CreateACTivity and funding the facial reconstructions of children living with the effects of NOMA. As thankful as I am for the offers to help from individuals, important lessons have been absorbed and integrated after placing my faith into the hands of others to the overall productivity of CreateACTivity. With or without a website, the business will move forward. With or without solidified branding, with or without an office, with or without interns, with or with out increased funding, the business will move forward ... all because of some random vision that my crazy head has lead me to believe will work.

Triggers and Motivation

                        

(The license plate in front of me says: "inprocess"... go figure, I 'm processing a ton of information right now. I know it's nerdy but I got a laugh out of it.)

Let me take this time in-between a commute and a part time job to catch you up. Several triggers have come up within the last couple days, thankfully though, they have been sprinkled with a few spurts of motivation.

Yesterday I realized how blessed I am to have a minimum paying part time job that allows me the freedom to take off when I need to and that surrounds me with (for the most part) positive and supportive co-workers. Recently, I received a comment: "You work so much and you're broke." I'm lucky to be able to respond, "but I'm happy." ... I'm also healthy, doing what I love, and working to make a difference in the lives of people that are much more than "broke." When it comes down to it: I have food in my belly, loved ones that surround me, and the ability to create anything I want simply because of the demographics in which I was born.

With that said, I was forced to reflect on the positives in life after a quick visit to the facility in which I used to work. Although it was good to see familiar old faces, I was glad to recognize (the second I walked in the door) that my energy did not match the surroundings. Hearing positive updates on the advancements of the company and promotions of employees into new positions, made me reflect for a second  and forced a comparison of past paychecks to current paychecks. After a quick conversation of company updates, just long enough to ensure that I wouldn't change the direction of my steps for the price tag of a heavy pay check vs. happiness, I left, once again assuring myself that I would use my skills of that past journey to "do much good in the world."

Needing some time to recharge after bringing in energy from the past and reflecting on old belief patterns, I drove off into the sunset... to a bar. A bar/restaurant  where a good friend of mine works. Waiting for her to finish up her shift I comforted myself with a cheap drink and some chips and salsa offered by my lovely new friend that I just so happened to sit next to. When asked where I live, I paused, and realized that I no longer know what to say. Finding it funny, I just listed the most approximate city (in comparison to all of them) that I usually lay my head at night. After my new, cheerful energetic friend left for a new location of the night, as usual, I was greeted by other strangers. Being my first time out socializing in a while, it was nice to meet new people and get a glimpse into the lives that others live. Seems the most common question to ask when meeting someone for the first time happens to be "What do you do?" ... even before someone asks your name. Strange, but obviously something that our society finds important. Attempting to change the dynamics of the conversation, my favorite responses to give are usually non-work related, even though the conversation always seems to divert back to it's origin. This particular night, I was graced with the presence of an EMT, a retail specialist, a teacher, and a hair dresser. Much to my surprise people seem to be amazed by the story of someone that leaves their job to blindly start something they believe in .... regardless if it means not knowing what will happen day to day and diminishing a plethora of the materialistic items most hold on to. To put my experience into words, I had a guy say to me: "I read stories and see movies about people who have done what your are doing, but I never actually have met someone that is doing it. Don't ever stop." So for those few people the other night that told me to keep going, and to not stop what I am doing: THANK YOU! Sometimes it is easy to forget that I am not just a mid twenties mooch that lives out of my car.

Off to that place called a job, to earn some gas money and gain new perspectives.

All The Best,

Es-Bee

A Need To Write

Wow! So many times this week I have felt that I have needed to write, but haven't had the opportunity due to a variety of excuses. My emotions have been up and down. There have been days where I just want to sleep, and days where I have just wanted to shut the world out. The lack of motivation to be social and my extreme need for sleep isn't anything unusual, it's actually quite normal in my book. I've found that in starting my own business, it really important to listen to my body and allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel. I'll sleep whenever I need to sleep, I'll work until all hours of the night if I feel motivated or compelled to, I'll take time to walk to the beach or hike if I need to clear my head. After all, if I don't take care of myself, I can't keep going. In brief, here is an update on the last few weeks: 

About two weeks ago, I found myself enjoying the sunshine with a friend on a patio eating ships and salsa. Stepping out of the routine and into the moment, I listened more closely to our conversation. Rather than just responding in reaction to a conversation, I started laughing at the fact that we talked about the discomforts of couch surfing and how are couches are too small for us and how we have to maneuver our body into certain positions to fall back asleep. Thankfulness was also discussed in regards to the people in our lives who have been supportive to our life choices and helping us to continue playing out our dream(s). It was interesting to capture the moment, and to recognize the content of a conversation that we will be able to forever look back at and laugh. 

Emotions, emotions, and more emotions. Friends getting engaged, friends getting married, friends having babies, and more babies. Filled with excitement for the new advances and adventures in the lives of my friends, it can also be difficult to not look around me and think that I am becoming the black sheep or outcast that doesn't fit in to society.  It is important to acknowledge the emotions as they come up and understanding that my life is playing out a different purpose for the time being. 

Some much needed family time also occurred within the last few weeks. Within my two days "off" (there is never really a day off), I made my rounds visiting my grandmother and my uncle, my brother, one of my mentors, and my father. The visits were nothing short of amazing, and of course always too short. 

This week, I am back in my natural flow and working away at a local coffee shop. After processing how I am going to get a website up, where (if anywhere) am I going to live for the upcoming months, how I can increase the finance of CreateACTivity to keep going, and how to focus to be more efficient, the overall message that I have been sending myself is to just take it a day at a time. An overall knowing that  contacts and players have been entering my life and offering their time, their homes, their skills, and their love makes this process a but easier. The more I let go of seeing an expected outcome, the more I am able to see things take shape. 

....And to prove that point.....As I sat at my local coffee shop and open up my computer this morning, in walks Tiffany, the founder of an organization called Shine On Sierra Leone, a women who I have never actually met, but have spoke to one the phone over a year ago. After returning from Argentina in  November of 2009, I had a desire to do more with my time than work for a paycheck that served no purpose for my soul. Skimming the non-profit section of Craig's List I stumbled on a listing for Tiffany's company. Interested in the cause, and compelled by the accomplishments of this amazing entrepreneur, I felt compelled to contact her. Turns out Tiffany was interested in helping the girls of Seirra Leone make soap, since they currently use dish and clothing detergent to wash their bodies. It was an instant connection, but due to the chaotic time of transition in which we met, she was unable to move forward on the project. Fast forward to about two years later, we live in the same town, and came to the same coffee shop on the same day. Even more magnetic in person that over the phone, it was nice to finally officially meet her. Check out: www.shineonsierraleone.org for information on her cause. 

Adding to the validation, there has been several help offerings the past few days. One, opportunities to house sit for two friends for the next couple months while they are out of town have come up, giving me the opportunity to spend less time driving, more time alone, and more time on CreateACTivity. Also, I received an email asking for a web lay out to move forward on our landing page by a gentleman that is willing to donate his time. And one more opportunity that came from our partner organization in the UK... Facing Africa has decided to move forward with becoming a us based 501 c 3 organization, and if funding begins to filter through their US based website (which it will), there is a strong chance that I will be able to dedicate 100% of my working time to the non-profit world by working for them in the US as well as advancing CreateACTivity. 

Until The Next Update...

Es-Bee

Time Flies and Firefly's

It's been a fast paced couple of weeks. Last time I wrote I was in contemplation. This time, as I write, I    almost forget what it is like to have the time to think thoughts long enough to be able to contemplate them. A lot has happened within the past couple of weeks.  Let me update you:

First, thank you to those who contacted me after my last blog post. To be honest, I didn't think that anyone actually read this thing. After the last post, a few donations were made to CreateACTivity helping me to keep the passion alive. Also, email streams were created from friends to me and from friends to friends of friends suggesting fundraising opportunities for the months to come. Although it scares me to know that I am putting myself out there and more people are reading my random thoughts and updates, I am very thankful for the positive responses and will use it to push forward.

What else? My amazing grandmother turned 88 years old last week. A woman of service and sacrifice, a pure saint and huge inspiration. At the age of 88, my grandmother takes care of my 63 year old uncle that can't walk by himself, eat by himself, shower by himself, is legally blind and can say three words due to a severe case of Cerebral Palsy. But despite the things he can not do, the energy that fills the room when he is in it is unexplainable. Having the opportunity to spend time with them last week was such an inspiring gift.

A change in my already busy schedule occurred this week as well.  In attempt to make my already full schedule even more full, I have decided to help out another non-profit in my "spare" time. In any other situation, I believe I would have said "No" in adding another responsibility (not associated with CreateACTivity) to my plate. However, by working with this particular non profit, I will have the ability to learn from extremely talented, well rounded, and highly educated individuals (Harvard, Yale, and Brown graduates, as well as a successful consultant to fortune 500 companies). For this reason, and that I believe in the cause, I have decided to assist in the initial  set up and infrastructure developement of another non profit organization besides my own. Starting a non-profit is a lot different then starting a for profit company, and starting a company is different then running a sales force. There is a lot to be learned, and I will take up and soak in every opportunity that I get. 

Enjoying the freedom to take off when I want to, and not being locked into a job that doesn't allow me the freedom to live life, this past weekend I took the opportunity to visit a friend in Texas. I spent the weekend enjoying the simple pleasures of the open air, an open book, rivers and lakes, walks in the evening, and iced tea on the porch. With gratitude, I also accomplished a few "firsts" : This past Friday I saw firefly's for the first time, and Monday I took my first dance class (intermediate ballet) and loved it. (For the past 5 days I have also started a morning work out routine, which is has been causing soreness in all the right places. It is invigorating to feel the increased energy, see the more toned muscles, and reap the benefits of the mind clarity exercise provides.) Coming back from a relaxing weekend, I have been welcomed home with multiple phone calls and over one hundred emails... but once again am energized and ready to hit the ground running. 

All My Best, 

Es-Bee 

With every up, there comes a DOWN

Yesterday I was on the top of a hill, today I seem to be swimming in mucky waters. Financial stress surrounds me. A part time job pays the little bills I have, however, when those bills do not include a place to live, it is difficult to not feel like a burden on your friends and loved ones. Searching for ways to be able to afford a place to rest your head at night is stressful when 80%-90% of your time is invested in an activity that does not currently provide a return on investment (other than emotional gratification). But with every down hill slope, there is always an opportunity to climb back up. No complaints, just needed to shine the light of reality on the situation. It is easy to share the positive advancements, and the adventures, but often times difficult for me to want to write when feeling a bit down. These days however, a shift has occurred in my outlook when I enter a lower vibrational state, I am able to transition my outlook faster than ever before. After all, poor me; I sleep in small living quarters, and can't afford a place to recharge ... I still have food in my belly and all the luxury's one needs to attain a happy and healthy life. When I think of the kids with NOMA, I become grounded again. I will however, take this opportunity to ask for help. As CreateACTivity continues to grow and income staggers a little above minimum wage at a part time job, I am open to almost any an all fundraising opportunities to help out with our operating costs. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to throw a fundraiser, want to donate directly, or have any ideas on how to make quick money to help feed the belly of this mission to grow the non profit.

Looking Upward,

Es-Bee

A Second To Catch My Breath

I've been horrible at keeping my promise to write regularly. Truth is, I haven't had much time to catch my breath.  Since the last update, a lot has happened. First, CreateACTivity officially had it's first event, a collaboration with an art gallery in Santa Monica. Second, we have officially found a benefactor that is going to help us set up an official website.   And third, we have a potential collaboration with a film department at a creditable junior college located in Orange County (once the collaboration is solidified a bit more, I will release more information through our website.)   Without a doubt, the advancements have been incredible. Watching the creation of a company come from nothing but hope and intention, is quite miraculous.

The collaboration with the art gallery was extremely successful. We had a really great turn out, contacts were gained, and most importantly more people have been informed about our cause. I have posted a few photos of the event below,  for more details you can visit the CreateACTity website at: www.createactivity.org

Although all of the advancements with the business have been great, I needed a little time to escape and get back into the elements to clear my mind, rest, and put my mental state back in a place that allows for me to keep going. To remedy this, I took a trip to Mammoth for the weekend. There is nothing like nature to stabilize the mind and re-charge the battery. The more that I work for little to no income and sacrifice the luxury of a bed and room/space of my own (the income I currently earn goes towards: food, gas, minimal bills needed to continue on the mission, and operational costs of CreateACTivity) to create a sustainable non profit, time away to regroup and recharge has become a necessity. Without it, it is easy to feel crowded by the world around me, overwhelmed with follow up work, and attain a state of mind that lacks creativity. Just thought I would give a fair warning to anyone looking to take on a similar mission. Refreshed and energized from the weekend, I am ready to get back to work... and am putting the intention out there to be a little more consistent with my blog updates. 

Best,

Es-Bee

New Specs..

Oh yea! I got new specs! I can see a lot clearer now, in more ways than with just my eyes ;)

The Ups and Downs

 

Back again, still working towards keeping my promise to document my story. Through the last few weeks it is apparent that I am embracing the ups and the downs of this process. It is amazing to watch something be created from nothing, and at times I feel there is not much worth documenting during the moments when I seem to be stuck in the trenches. The highs and lows of creating your own business and feeling successful in the "non-profit" arena come quick and close between. At times I feel unstoppable and on top of the world, then the following day can knock me right back down into humble town.

To shed some light on the successes of the last few weeks, I would like to share with you a few sentences focused on the progressions that have been made since last time I wrote. About a week ago I sent out an email to my contact base asking for help in funding the operation costs for the start up costs of a current CreateACTivity project. The project focuses on asking for-profit companies within the skin care and beauty industries to give back a portion of sales towards helping fund the facial reconstructions of Noma victims in return for cause-marketing and advertisement opportunities. Much to my surprise, very few of my close friends and family responded to the email. However, I did receive emails from two skin care companies interested in and willing to commit to giving back a portion of sales to help those less fortunate. This is a huge progression in launching CreateACTivity's project, and proves that our concept will work on a larger scale. On a personal level, I learned to count more on my personal contacts over people who I have met once or twice, that promise a lot and deliver very little.

Now feeling gratitude and a surge of creative energy when reflecting on the latest progressions, I do admit that I was in a small depression-like state over the last several days. It seems with putting forward so much energy into something you truly believe in, it is easy to get attached to the state of euphoria that happens when watching your manifestations come to reality. Adversely, because that state of euphoria creates such a vibrational high, it can often be emotionally challenging during the dry spells when the proof of advancements are camouflaged by the day to day work that it takes to create the events that cause those high vibrational euphoric states. For lack of a better analogy, put simply, it is like having a child and watching that child grow and go off to kindergarten for the first time. The time seems to go so fast that you hardly notice how much that child has changed and grown. The first day of kindergarten is bittersweet in that you are proud of your child for their progression, but the absence of the child can cause low emotional states.

Although the downs can often times be a struggle to push through, the ups make the process well worth the challenge and I would not trade what I am learning mentally and spiritually for anything. To be quite honest, the process is almost addicting. One thing that has helped me to push through the troughs has been the ability to share the process with a like minded female social entrepreneur that can relate to the process. With lack of a business partner, I am lucky that I am able to share experiences with a friend of mine that was introduced to me about a year ago at an event for charity. I've found comfort and motivation in having someone to converse the day to day triumphs and tribulations.  Although we have very different business models and business concepts, the struggles and actions towards progressions are very much the same. After realizing the similarities and noticing that we have a plethora of stored information to share with each other to help one another along this sometimes lonely journey, this friend of mine and I meet regularly to exchange information and help each other find outlets to creating solutions to business challenges. And even when there doesn't seem to be a solution, it helps to have an open ear to someone who can relate and understand the ups and the downs.

Looking forward to more frequent high vibrational euphoric states of progress, and sending a quick thanks to the universe that I am on the right path. Currently, I write this from a local Los Angeles coffee shop, where I just befriended a barista, who's boyfriend is a lawyer that specializes in drafting contracts and is highly educated in non-profit law. Over the past two months I have been looking for a lawyer that would be willing to help draft contracts for CreateACTivity to work with for-profit businesses that wish to donate a portion of sales. Thankful for the validation, and excited to take one more step forward on the directionless road to help provide sustainable solutions for individuals living without the basic essentials needed to survive.


All My Best,

Es-Bee

Where Do I Start....

To be quite honest, I am not much in the mood to blog today, but feel it is essential I continue to fill the commitment I made a few posts ago. It is beautiful outside today, and I'm going to be a bit selfish and keep this short so I can go enjoy the outdoors. To say the least, so much has happened, is happening. I can't seem to write as fast as thoughts come to my head. Last time I left you with a "Not So Perfect Speaking Opportunity," only to welcome you with an introduction of gaining my first international speaking opportunity. As of yesterday, my topic was accepted for the Medical Tourism Congress in Costa Rica. In reading the letter of acceptance, I was pleased to hear that the board in charge of putting the conference together has a non profit organization that is launching a project during the conference that will help to provide medical assistance to individuals who cannot afford medical treatment. After reviewing my presentation from the Los Angeles conference, I was asked if it would be of interest to tailor my presentation in a manner that will help the introduction/launch of this new project.

To further the excitement, I am pleased that individuals from all areas of the creative business world have been contacting CreateACTivty to offer their services at minimal to no cost to help us grow. Because of these amazingly generous individuals, we will be able to grow visually in graphic design, create contracts to protect us in future collaborations with for profit companies, create a more professional presents via internet, and most important gain funding to keep us focused towards our mission. For this, I am so thankful and very much look forward to watching the growth of our current projects.

Personally a lot has happened as well. I have watched myself jump on the train of old belief patterns (thankfully quick enough to make a conscious choice to get off and choose a different destination).
I've realized insecurities and discovered hidden confidence.  I've faced old fears and brought on some new ones... but ready to explore and defeat each and every one of them. Including, but not limited to "fear of cameras," as seen below.

Best,
ES-BEE