(The license plate in front of me says: "inprocess"... go figure, I 'm processing a ton of information right now. I know it's nerdy but I got a laugh out of it.)
Let me take this time in-between a commute and a part time job to catch you up. Several triggers have come up within the last couple days, thankfully though, they have been sprinkled with a few spurts of motivation.
Yesterday I realized how blessed I am to have a minimum paying part time job that allows me the freedom to take off when I need to and that surrounds me with (for the most part) positive and supportive co-workers. Recently, I received a comment: "You work so much and you're broke." I'm lucky to be able to respond, "but I'm happy." ... I'm also healthy, doing what I love, and working to make a difference in the lives of people that are much more than "broke." When it comes down to it: I have food in my belly, loved ones that surround me, and the ability to create anything I want simply because of the demographics in which I was born.
With that said, I was forced to reflect on the positives in life after a quick visit to the facility in which I used to work. Although it was good to see familiar old faces, I was glad to recognize (the second I walked in the door) that my energy did not match the surroundings. Hearing positive updates on the advancements of the company and promotions of employees into new positions, made me reflect for a second and forced a comparison of past paychecks to current paychecks. After a quick conversation of company updates, just long enough to ensure that I wouldn't change the direction of my steps for the price tag of a heavy pay check vs. happiness, I left, once again assuring myself that I would use my skills of that past journey to "do much good in the world."
Needing some time to recharge after bringing in energy from the past and reflecting on old belief patterns, I drove off into the sunset... to a bar. A bar/restaurant where a good friend of mine works. Waiting for her to finish up her shift I comforted myself with a cheap drink and some chips and salsa offered by my lovely new friend that I just so happened to sit next to. When asked where I live, I paused, and realized that I no longer know what to say. Finding it funny, I just listed the most approximate city (in comparison to all of them) that I usually lay my head at night. After my new, cheerful energetic friend left for a new location of the night, as usual, I was greeted by other strangers. Being my first time out socializing in a while, it was nice to meet new people and get a glimpse into the lives that others live. Seems the most common question to ask when meeting someone for the first time happens to be "What do you do?" ... even before someone asks your name. Strange, but obviously something that our society finds important. Attempting to change the dynamics of the conversation, my favorite responses to give are usually non-work related, even though the conversation always seems to divert back to it's origin. This particular night, I was graced with the presence of an EMT, a retail specialist, a teacher, and a hair dresser. Much to my surprise people seem to be amazed by the story of someone that leaves their job to blindly start something they believe in .... regardless if it means not knowing what will happen day to day and diminishing a plethora of the materialistic items most hold on to. To put my experience into words, I had a guy say to me: "I read stories and see movies about people who have done what your are doing, but I never actually have met someone that is doing it. Don't ever stop." So for those few people the other night that told me to keep going, and to not stop what I am doing: THANK YOU! Sometimes it is easy to forget that I am not just a mid twenties mooch that lives out of my car.
Off to that place called a job, to earn some gas money and gain new perspectives.
All The Best,
Es-Bee
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