"The Only Thing Constant In Life Is Change"

Quick update without wasting too much time: Car is stocked to the top with all of my belongings once again. Further motivation gained through the experience of working a part time job that stimulates only through human interaction of customers and co-workers rather than the daily procedures and learned and daily operating tasks. Working a job that lacks consistent mental stimulation has helped me to let go of my ego. Lessons learned in regards to my procrastination of looking for a savior who will magically help create the vision of my company. With new gained insight, the cord has been cut to the waiting game. It is up to me, there aren't any excuses for stalling the growth of CreateACTivity and funding the facial reconstructions of children living with the effects of NOMA. As thankful as I am for the offers to help from individuals, important lessons have been absorbed and integrated after placing my faith into the hands of others to the overall productivity of CreateACTivity. With or without a website, the business will move forward. With or without solidified branding, with or without an office, with or without interns, with or with out increased funding, the business will move forward ... all because of some random vision that my crazy head has lead me to believe will work.

Triggers and Motivation

                        

(The license plate in front of me says: "inprocess"... go figure, I 'm processing a ton of information right now. I know it's nerdy but I got a laugh out of it.)

Let me take this time in-between a commute and a part time job to catch you up. Several triggers have come up within the last couple days, thankfully though, they have been sprinkled with a few spurts of motivation.

Yesterday I realized how blessed I am to have a minimum paying part time job that allows me the freedom to take off when I need to and that surrounds me with (for the most part) positive and supportive co-workers. Recently, I received a comment: "You work so much and you're broke." I'm lucky to be able to respond, "but I'm happy." ... I'm also healthy, doing what I love, and working to make a difference in the lives of people that are much more than "broke." When it comes down to it: I have food in my belly, loved ones that surround me, and the ability to create anything I want simply because of the demographics in which I was born.

With that said, I was forced to reflect on the positives in life after a quick visit to the facility in which I used to work. Although it was good to see familiar old faces, I was glad to recognize (the second I walked in the door) that my energy did not match the surroundings. Hearing positive updates on the advancements of the company and promotions of employees into new positions, made me reflect for a second  and forced a comparison of past paychecks to current paychecks. After a quick conversation of company updates, just long enough to ensure that I wouldn't change the direction of my steps for the price tag of a heavy pay check vs. happiness, I left, once again assuring myself that I would use my skills of that past journey to "do much good in the world."

Needing some time to recharge after bringing in energy from the past and reflecting on old belief patterns, I drove off into the sunset... to a bar. A bar/restaurant  where a good friend of mine works. Waiting for her to finish up her shift I comforted myself with a cheap drink and some chips and salsa offered by my lovely new friend that I just so happened to sit next to. When asked where I live, I paused, and realized that I no longer know what to say. Finding it funny, I just listed the most approximate city (in comparison to all of them) that I usually lay my head at night. After my new, cheerful energetic friend left for a new location of the night, as usual, I was greeted by other strangers. Being my first time out socializing in a while, it was nice to meet new people and get a glimpse into the lives that others live. Seems the most common question to ask when meeting someone for the first time happens to be "What do you do?" ... even before someone asks your name. Strange, but obviously something that our society finds important. Attempting to change the dynamics of the conversation, my favorite responses to give are usually non-work related, even though the conversation always seems to divert back to it's origin. This particular night, I was graced with the presence of an EMT, a retail specialist, a teacher, and a hair dresser. Much to my surprise people seem to be amazed by the story of someone that leaves their job to blindly start something they believe in .... regardless if it means not knowing what will happen day to day and diminishing a plethora of the materialistic items most hold on to. To put my experience into words, I had a guy say to me: "I read stories and see movies about people who have done what your are doing, but I never actually have met someone that is doing it. Don't ever stop." So for those few people the other night that told me to keep going, and to not stop what I am doing: THANK YOU! Sometimes it is easy to forget that I am not just a mid twenties mooch that lives out of my car.

Off to that place called a job, to earn some gas money and gain new perspectives.

All The Best,

Es-Bee

A Need To Write

Wow! So many times this week I have felt that I have needed to write, but haven't had the opportunity due to a variety of excuses. My emotions have been up and down. There have been days where I just want to sleep, and days where I have just wanted to shut the world out. The lack of motivation to be social and my extreme need for sleep isn't anything unusual, it's actually quite normal in my book. I've found that in starting my own business, it really important to listen to my body and allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel. I'll sleep whenever I need to sleep, I'll work until all hours of the night if I feel motivated or compelled to, I'll take time to walk to the beach or hike if I need to clear my head. After all, if I don't take care of myself, I can't keep going. In brief, here is an update on the last few weeks: 

About two weeks ago, I found myself enjoying the sunshine with a friend on a patio eating ships and salsa. Stepping out of the routine and into the moment, I listened more closely to our conversation. Rather than just responding in reaction to a conversation, I started laughing at the fact that we talked about the discomforts of couch surfing and how are couches are too small for us and how we have to maneuver our body into certain positions to fall back asleep. Thankfulness was also discussed in regards to the people in our lives who have been supportive to our life choices and helping us to continue playing out our dream(s). It was interesting to capture the moment, and to recognize the content of a conversation that we will be able to forever look back at and laugh. 

Emotions, emotions, and more emotions. Friends getting engaged, friends getting married, friends having babies, and more babies. Filled with excitement for the new advances and adventures in the lives of my friends, it can also be difficult to not look around me and think that I am becoming the black sheep or outcast that doesn't fit in to society.  It is important to acknowledge the emotions as they come up and understanding that my life is playing out a different purpose for the time being. 

Some much needed family time also occurred within the last few weeks. Within my two days "off" (there is never really a day off), I made my rounds visiting my grandmother and my uncle, my brother, one of my mentors, and my father. The visits were nothing short of amazing, and of course always too short. 

This week, I am back in my natural flow and working away at a local coffee shop. After processing how I am going to get a website up, where (if anywhere) am I going to live for the upcoming months, how I can increase the finance of CreateACTivity to keep going, and how to focus to be more efficient, the overall message that I have been sending myself is to just take it a day at a time. An overall knowing that  contacts and players have been entering my life and offering their time, their homes, their skills, and their love makes this process a but easier. The more I let go of seeing an expected outcome, the more I am able to see things take shape. 

....And to prove that point.....As I sat at my local coffee shop and open up my computer this morning, in walks Tiffany, the founder of an organization called Shine On Sierra Leone, a women who I have never actually met, but have spoke to one the phone over a year ago. After returning from Argentina in  November of 2009, I had a desire to do more with my time than work for a paycheck that served no purpose for my soul. Skimming the non-profit section of Craig's List I stumbled on a listing for Tiffany's company. Interested in the cause, and compelled by the accomplishments of this amazing entrepreneur, I felt compelled to contact her. Turns out Tiffany was interested in helping the girls of Seirra Leone make soap, since they currently use dish and clothing detergent to wash their bodies. It was an instant connection, but due to the chaotic time of transition in which we met, she was unable to move forward on the project. Fast forward to about two years later, we live in the same town, and came to the same coffee shop on the same day. Even more magnetic in person that over the phone, it was nice to finally officially meet her. Check out: www.shineonsierraleone.org for information on her cause. 

Adding to the validation, there has been several help offerings the past few days. One, opportunities to house sit for two friends for the next couple months while they are out of town have come up, giving me the opportunity to spend less time driving, more time alone, and more time on CreateACTivity. Also, I received an email asking for a web lay out to move forward on our landing page by a gentleman that is willing to donate his time. And one more opportunity that came from our partner organization in the UK... Facing Africa has decided to move forward with becoming a us based 501 c 3 organization, and if funding begins to filter through their US based website (which it will), there is a strong chance that I will be able to dedicate 100% of my working time to the non-profit world by working for them in the US as well as advancing CreateACTivity. 

Until The Next Update...

Es-Bee