Reflecting Forward

To say the least, I have procrastinated horribly at updating regularly. I believe this is because when I started this endeavor, the vision of what I thought it would be, is completely different than what the journey has become. I took the time recently to read back through my first blog posts, and to be quite honest have wanted to delete them and start over. However, if I were to do that the story would not be authentic, so with much embrace they will remain. I started with some stories of individuals doing amazing things to do much good in this world, and somehow faulted into blogs of self reflection. The truth is, eleven months ago I was naive. I had a picture in my head of how I thought this process would progress and a vision of what the road would look like. The truth is, I am still naive. The only difference is, I believe I have learned to embrace it.

Part of the beautiful thing about life is that we can not predict it nor control it. Part of my hesitation in following my passions was, one, the fear of failing, and two, the fear that the reality would be different than the dream that I had created in my head. Well, lucky for me, within the past eleven months, both have happened. I have failed several times as far as how to accomplish simple business related tasks, but am thankful because through each failure I have been able to utilize it as an opportunity to turn the failure into a success. Secondly, I am learning to let go of any expectations that I might have created, because although the dream and reality share commonalities, they are never the same and the reality is never happens in the way that we have imagined.

This past week I had the opportunity to speak at the 3rd Annual Medical and Wellness Tourism Congress at the Hyatt in Los Angeles.  On September 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, about 2,000+ medical and wellness professionals from around the world came together to network, to share information, and to build relationships to expand in the arena of medical and welness tourism. Speaking in front of people regarding particular world issues is something that I had pictured myself doing, however, I quite honestly pictured the path being more of a struggle. I guess I pictured a few failures before people became willing to listen and be receptive to the information that I  have to share. Much different than the image I had created, it has been a beautiful and heart-warming experience to see the connections that have been built off of a twenty minute presentation regarding cause-related marketing.

As my email box continues to grow with encouragement from individuals from the Medical and Wellness Tourism Congress, or individuals that have heard about the cause after the event from someone who attended event, I look forward to the new conversations of progression. And as a reflection forward, choose to embrace the un-dreamed journey in order (or in many cases disorder) to provide knowledge about particular situations of people in poverty and work to integrate ways that current and upcoming challenges can subside and be resolved through passion, talent,  and creativity.

Trust In The Process

Wow! It's been a while since I have written on my reflections of this process and I feel there are so many things I could write about. I just spent some time looking over my past blog posts and it is extremely interesting not only to look back at portions of this journey, but also realizing the shift in my actions and how I process information. One of the most beautiful things about this process is that it is an exploration. As I look at old blog posts I remember having a vision of how I imagined all of this unfolding, and although some events have mimicked those visions, nothing happens the way it is planned out by the conscious mind.

This blog was basically the beginning of making a dream a reality. It was the easiest way for me to put the intentions of my life desires and desires to raise awareness about particular causes into a more physical state and push them out into the world. On a deeper level,  (although I had no idea at the time this blog was created) it was the beginning of my ability to allow the power of thought and intention to create my current surroundings, stepping into different perspectives, and trusting that thoughts and intentions facilitate actuality.

After I returned from Haiti, I felt the need to shut the outside world out for a while, to think, to write, to process, to focus on the information presented on the trip, and how I wanted to proceed in using that information to move forward. After seeing the destruction in Haiti, I can see how one might question their ability to make a difference. However, for me, my thought process was the opposite, it solidified a knowing/comfort within myself that I am "supposed" to be in this line of work. Long story short, with putting the intention out there for some time of solitude, I found myself in the country side of  Northern California for a few weeks. After some much needed alone time, I was able to sit on my emotions and further spread the fruit of my intentions through meditation and self reflection.

Subsequently after return to Los Angeles from Northern California there has been many shifts. After returning, I managed to manifest a change in living situation. It is exciting to know that I will be moving within the next few months, yet have no idea where, with who, for how long, with very minimal funds... oddly enough, I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I am supposed to get rid of more belongings. I'm looking forward to a time of new energy and with new energy will come new adventures. The other change that has come from my return is a cascade of new and seemingly never ending contacts. From beauty pageant contestants, to university professors, to founders of NGO's throughout Africa ... contacts on top of contacts of people that want to help my somewhat crazy visions and ideas have been flooding in. These new contacts are only reasurance that all will work as it is supposed. Although learning to trust the process has been a process in itself, it is exciting to whole heartedly accept the open road I have stepped onto, embrace the fears that have surfaced and will eventually subside, and welcome the expedition that lies ahead.

Es-Bee