Manifesting Is Fun!

After I wrote earlier today, I was going to meet a friend to do some ballet before sitting down to work. Turns out I had to use my last few dollars towards my gas tank, and so I phoned my friend letting her know I wasn't going to be able to pay for class. My friend (no joke, she is an angel from heaven) suggests I meet her at yoga, her treat. Slightly hesitating as I enter the typical crowed streets at rush hour, I make it to the yoga class just in time. Feeling much better after taking care of my body, the yoga instructor ends the class with telling us about upcoming events for the yoga studio and that he is involved in. It just so happens he's involved with an organization called Imagine 1 Day that provides primary education to children in Ethiopia. Coincidence, I think not. We chatted a bit and I very much look forward to seeing what evolves from this amazing new friend and resource.

Check out the link to Imagine 1 Day here:

http://imagine1day.org/

Doing What You Love, Loving What You Do

So, I've had a few breakthroughs within the last few weeks, and I very much apologize for the lack of updates. I know that writing the story as I go will be great to reflect on in the future, as well as, may help others that decided to start creating their own path even though they might now have any idea of where to begin. Regardless, with my current way of life, I've found it very difficult to live anywhere but in the present moment. Looking too far into the future creates a sense of urgency or anxiety when thinking about all of the things that "have to be done." Looking at the past allows too much time for judgement in how much more I feel I should have accomplished within a span of time. After a long weekend of exploring what I want to accomplish and how to create it, I'm experiencing the best way is to be specific and direct in what I want, tackle what I can accomplish in the moment, and take time to live, laugh, and have fun.

Being direct and specific: One of my many faults is that I have too many thoughts in my head spewing out at any given moment, and I don't allow one thought to mature and manifest. Instead, I get excited, start working towards the creation of the idea, and then manifest parts of my vision because I (excuse my language) half a**** defining and solidifying all that I wanted to create. Noticing this pattern has not only been beneficial in my own creation processes towards business but also when communicating with others that wish to help CreateACTivity grow, as well as, in my personal life. I'm learning that the universe will give you what you ask for, but if you're not specific in what you want, the universal energy will only give you the specific (or not so specific) intent that was projected out, and has she seems to have a funny sense of humor too!

Tackling what I can accomplish in the moment: It's so easy to think of all the things that I currently need to progress my business forward, but it's been a valuable lesson to know what can be accomplished with the current resources we have and what needs to wait for more resources to come in to place. Currently we need a professional looking and acting website, funding for operations, graphic design work, a new camera (since ours broke), a documentary to gain exposure and help tell our story, speaking engagements to increase exposure, partnerships with for profit companies to help increase funding... and of course this is all needed for one thing and one thing only, to increase cash flow and help fund the facial reconstructions of Noma victims. When thinking of all these tasks at once I feel nothing but overwhelmed. When I focus on what we do have and how I can progress with these tools at this specific moment in time, I am able to grab on to tangible goals and expectations that snowball into more opportunities, connections, and resources. For instance, I need partners with for profit organizations that are willing to donate a portion of sales, I have two of them, so I will start there.  I need marketing material, I have a hang tag designed, I will print as many hang tags as we can to put on our partners products to start creating revenue. I need a professional website so that we can "look more legit" and receive donations through "call to action" opportunities created online and through speaking engagements. I've attempted to find ways around it, but the truth is: websites cost money, so for the time being, we will use our current blog. With the revenue gained through product sales from our partners, we can then pay to upgrade new revenue generating programs such as our website/social media, which will ultimately create more funding for the facial reconstructions of NOMA victims. We also would like video exposure, we have met a student willing to practice her skill sets on us, so we will let her do so, to keep expenses low and still expose our story. Now that I have babbled enough to loose your attention, the main goal of the babble is to show that we currently have steps that we can accomplish that will lead to more opportunities. Steps that can all be done with the resources that we have in our hands right now.

Live, laugh, and have fun: this has been the hardest part of manifesting for me to integrate and accept, a part that is crucial for success. Surprisingly, I'm finding that fun and laughter are a necessity in my manifesting process. The past few weeks, I've learned that productivity is more fluent when I'm happy. The law of attraction I guess, positive energy breeds positive advancements. Breaking away from the "to do list" and the computer has allowed energy to flow naturally rather than put pressure on a presumed outcome. The past week I have worked with what I'm able, and rather than sitting at my computer emailing and TRYING to make progress happen, I went out and had fun. I allowed myself to separate from work. To live and to laugh and be irresponsible. In that space of having fun, contacts have come out of the woodwork - so to speak, and I've been able to let my thoughts breathe and solidify so that I can create what I actually want, rather than bits and pieces of half conceived ideas. Fun has also allowed for me to step out of the box and away from what I already know, so that I can gain new perspectives and create new ideas that might not have had the opportunity to surface had I stayed in "work mode."

Speaking of fun: one of the things I did last week was watch Harold and Maude. If you haven't seen it, please do! Maude has some life lessons to share with you!

All My Best,

Es-Bee

"The Only Thing Constant In Life Is Change"

Quick update without wasting too much time: Car is stocked to the top with all of my belongings once again. Further motivation gained through the experience of working a part time job that stimulates only through human interaction of customers and co-workers rather than the daily procedures and learned and daily operating tasks. Working a job that lacks consistent mental stimulation has helped me to let go of my ego. Lessons learned in regards to my procrastination of looking for a savior who will magically help create the vision of my company. With new gained insight, the cord has been cut to the waiting game. It is up to me, there aren't any excuses for stalling the growth of CreateACTivity and funding the facial reconstructions of children living with the effects of NOMA. As thankful as I am for the offers to help from individuals, important lessons have been absorbed and integrated after placing my faith into the hands of others to the overall productivity of CreateACTivity. With or without a website, the business will move forward. With or without solidified branding, with or without an office, with or without interns, with or with out increased funding, the business will move forward ... all because of some random vision that my crazy head has lead me to believe will work.

Triggers and Motivation

                        

(The license plate in front of me says: "inprocess"... go figure, I 'm processing a ton of information right now. I know it's nerdy but I got a laugh out of it.)

Let me take this time in-between a commute and a part time job to catch you up. Several triggers have come up within the last couple days, thankfully though, they have been sprinkled with a few spurts of motivation.

Yesterday I realized how blessed I am to have a minimum paying part time job that allows me the freedom to take off when I need to and that surrounds me with (for the most part) positive and supportive co-workers. Recently, I received a comment: "You work so much and you're broke." I'm lucky to be able to respond, "but I'm happy." ... I'm also healthy, doing what I love, and working to make a difference in the lives of people that are much more than "broke." When it comes down to it: I have food in my belly, loved ones that surround me, and the ability to create anything I want simply because of the demographics in which I was born.

With that said, I was forced to reflect on the positives in life after a quick visit to the facility in which I used to work. Although it was good to see familiar old faces, I was glad to recognize (the second I walked in the door) that my energy did not match the surroundings. Hearing positive updates on the advancements of the company and promotions of employees into new positions, made me reflect for a second  and forced a comparison of past paychecks to current paychecks. After a quick conversation of company updates, just long enough to ensure that I wouldn't change the direction of my steps for the price tag of a heavy pay check vs. happiness, I left, once again assuring myself that I would use my skills of that past journey to "do much good in the world."

Needing some time to recharge after bringing in energy from the past and reflecting on old belief patterns, I drove off into the sunset... to a bar. A bar/restaurant  where a good friend of mine works. Waiting for her to finish up her shift I comforted myself with a cheap drink and some chips and salsa offered by my lovely new friend that I just so happened to sit next to. When asked where I live, I paused, and realized that I no longer know what to say. Finding it funny, I just listed the most approximate city (in comparison to all of them) that I usually lay my head at night. After my new, cheerful energetic friend left for a new location of the night, as usual, I was greeted by other strangers. Being my first time out socializing in a while, it was nice to meet new people and get a glimpse into the lives that others live. Seems the most common question to ask when meeting someone for the first time happens to be "What do you do?" ... even before someone asks your name. Strange, but obviously something that our society finds important. Attempting to change the dynamics of the conversation, my favorite responses to give are usually non-work related, even though the conversation always seems to divert back to it's origin. This particular night, I was graced with the presence of an EMT, a retail specialist, a teacher, and a hair dresser. Much to my surprise people seem to be amazed by the story of someone that leaves their job to blindly start something they believe in .... regardless if it means not knowing what will happen day to day and diminishing a plethora of the materialistic items most hold on to. To put my experience into words, I had a guy say to me: "I read stories and see movies about people who have done what your are doing, but I never actually have met someone that is doing it. Don't ever stop." So for those few people the other night that told me to keep going, and to not stop what I am doing: THANK YOU! Sometimes it is easy to forget that I am not just a mid twenties mooch that lives out of my car.

Off to that place called a job, to earn some gas money and gain new perspectives.

All The Best,

Es-Bee

A Need To Write

Wow! So many times this week I have felt that I have needed to write, but haven't had the opportunity due to a variety of excuses. My emotions have been up and down. There have been days where I just want to sleep, and days where I have just wanted to shut the world out. The lack of motivation to be social and my extreme need for sleep isn't anything unusual, it's actually quite normal in my book. I've found that in starting my own business, it really important to listen to my body and allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel. I'll sleep whenever I need to sleep, I'll work until all hours of the night if I feel motivated or compelled to, I'll take time to walk to the beach or hike if I need to clear my head. After all, if I don't take care of myself, I can't keep going. In brief, here is an update on the last few weeks: 

About two weeks ago, I found myself enjoying the sunshine with a friend on a patio eating ships and salsa. Stepping out of the routine and into the moment, I listened more closely to our conversation. Rather than just responding in reaction to a conversation, I started laughing at the fact that we talked about the discomforts of couch surfing and how are couches are too small for us and how we have to maneuver our body into certain positions to fall back asleep. Thankfulness was also discussed in regards to the people in our lives who have been supportive to our life choices and helping us to continue playing out our dream(s). It was interesting to capture the moment, and to recognize the content of a conversation that we will be able to forever look back at and laugh. 

Emotions, emotions, and more emotions. Friends getting engaged, friends getting married, friends having babies, and more babies. Filled with excitement for the new advances and adventures in the lives of my friends, it can also be difficult to not look around me and think that I am becoming the black sheep or outcast that doesn't fit in to society.  It is important to acknowledge the emotions as they come up and understanding that my life is playing out a different purpose for the time being. 

Some much needed family time also occurred within the last few weeks. Within my two days "off" (there is never really a day off), I made my rounds visiting my grandmother and my uncle, my brother, one of my mentors, and my father. The visits were nothing short of amazing, and of course always too short. 

This week, I am back in my natural flow and working away at a local coffee shop. After processing how I am going to get a website up, where (if anywhere) am I going to live for the upcoming months, how I can increase the finance of CreateACTivity to keep going, and how to focus to be more efficient, the overall message that I have been sending myself is to just take it a day at a time. An overall knowing that  contacts and players have been entering my life and offering their time, their homes, their skills, and their love makes this process a but easier. The more I let go of seeing an expected outcome, the more I am able to see things take shape. 

....And to prove that point.....As I sat at my local coffee shop and open up my computer this morning, in walks Tiffany, the founder of an organization called Shine On Sierra Leone, a women who I have never actually met, but have spoke to one the phone over a year ago. After returning from Argentina in  November of 2009, I had a desire to do more with my time than work for a paycheck that served no purpose for my soul. Skimming the non-profit section of Craig's List I stumbled on a listing for Tiffany's company. Interested in the cause, and compelled by the accomplishments of this amazing entrepreneur, I felt compelled to contact her. Turns out Tiffany was interested in helping the girls of Seirra Leone make soap, since they currently use dish and clothing detergent to wash their bodies. It was an instant connection, but due to the chaotic time of transition in which we met, she was unable to move forward on the project. Fast forward to about two years later, we live in the same town, and came to the same coffee shop on the same day. Even more magnetic in person that over the phone, it was nice to finally officially meet her. Check out: www.shineonsierraleone.org for information on her cause. 

Adding to the validation, there has been several help offerings the past few days. One, opportunities to house sit for two friends for the next couple months while they are out of town have come up, giving me the opportunity to spend less time driving, more time alone, and more time on CreateACTivity. Also, I received an email asking for a web lay out to move forward on our landing page by a gentleman that is willing to donate his time. And one more opportunity that came from our partner organization in the UK... Facing Africa has decided to move forward with becoming a us based 501 c 3 organization, and if funding begins to filter through their US based website (which it will), there is a strong chance that I will be able to dedicate 100% of my working time to the non-profit world by working for them in the US as well as advancing CreateACTivity. 

Until The Next Update...

Es-Bee

Time Flies and Firefly's

It's been a fast paced couple of weeks. Last time I wrote I was in contemplation. This time, as I write, I    almost forget what it is like to have the time to think thoughts long enough to be able to contemplate them. A lot has happened within the past couple of weeks.  Let me update you:

First, thank you to those who contacted me after my last blog post. To be honest, I didn't think that anyone actually read this thing. After the last post, a few donations were made to CreateACTivity helping me to keep the passion alive. Also, email streams were created from friends to me and from friends to friends of friends suggesting fundraising opportunities for the months to come. Although it scares me to know that I am putting myself out there and more people are reading my random thoughts and updates, I am very thankful for the positive responses and will use it to push forward.

What else? My amazing grandmother turned 88 years old last week. A woman of service and sacrifice, a pure saint and huge inspiration. At the age of 88, my grandmother takes care of my 63 year old uncle that can't walk by himself, eat by himself, shower by himself, is legally blind and can say three words due to a severe case of Cerebral Palsy. But despite the things he can not do, the energy that fills the room when he is in it is unexplainable. Having the opportunity to spend time with them last week was such an inspiring gift.

A change in my already busy schedule occurred this week as well.  In attempt to make my already full schedule even more full, I have decided to help out another non-profit in my "spare" time. In any other situation, I believe I would have said "No" in adding another responsibility (not associated with CreateACTivity) to my plate. However, by working with this particular non profit, I will have the ability to learn from extremely talented, well rounded, and highly educated individuals (Harvard, Yale, and Brown graduates, as well as a successful consultant to fortune 500 companies). For this reason, and that I believe in the cause, I have decided to assist in the initial  set up and infrastructure developement of another non profit organization besides my own. Starting a non-profit is a lot different then starting a for profit company, and starting a company is different then running a sales force. There is a lot to be learned, and I will take up and soak in every opportunity that I get. 

Enjoying the freedom to take off when I want to, and not being locked into a job that doesn't allow me the freedom to live life, this past weekend I took the opportunity to visit a friend in Texas. I spent the weekend enjoying the simple pleasures of the open air, an open book, rivers and lakes, walks in the evening, and iced tea on the porch. With gratitude, I also accomplished a few "firsts" : This past Friday I saw firefly's for the first time, and Monday I took my first dance class (intermediate ballet) and loved it. (For the past 5 days I have also started a morning work out routine, which is has been causing soreness in all the right places. It is invigorating to feel the increased energy, see the more toned muscles, and reap the benefits of the mind clarity exercise provides.) Coming back from a relaxing weekend, I have been welcomed home with multiple phone calls and over one hundred emails... but once again am energized and ready to hit the ground running. 

All My Best, 

Es-Bee 

With every up, there comes a DOWN

Yesterday I was on the top of a hill, today I seem to be swimming in mucky waters. Financial stress surrounds me. A part time job pays the little bills I have, however, when those bills do not include a place to live, it is difficult to not feel like a burden on your friends and loved ones. Searching for ways to be able to afford a place to rest your head at night is stressful when 80%-90% of your time is invested in an activity that does not currently provide a return on investment (other than emotional gratification). But with every down hill slope, there is always an opportunity to climb back up. No complaints, just needed to shine the light of reality on the situation. It is easy to share the positive advancements, and the adventures, but often times difficult for me to want to write when feeling a bit down. These days however, a shift has occurred in my outlook when I enter a lower vibrational state, I am able to transition my outlook faster than ever before. After all, poor me; I sleep in small living quarters, and can't afford a place to recharge ... I still have food in my belly and all the luxury's one needs to attain a happy and healthy life. When I think of the kids with NOMA, I become grounded again. I will however, take this opportunity to ask for help. As CreateACTivity continues to grow and income staggers a little above minimum wage at a part time job, I am open to almost any an all fundraising opportunities to help out with our operating costs. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to throw a fundraiser, want to donate directly, or have any ideas on how to make quick money to help feed the belly of this mission to grow the non profit.

Looking Upward,

Es-Bee

A Second To Catch My Breath

I've been horrible at keeping my promise to write regularly. Truth is, I haven't had much time to catch my breath.  Since the last update, a lot has happened. First, CreateACTivity officially had it's first event, a collaboration with an art gallery in Santa Monica. Second, we have officially found a benefactor that is going to help us set up an official website.   And third, we have a potential collaboration with a film department at a creditable junior college located in Orange County (once the collaboration is solidified a bit more, I will release more information through our website.)   Without a doubt, the advancements have been incredible. Watching the creation of a company come from nothing but hope and intention, is quite miraculous.

The collaboration with the art gallery was extremely successful. We had a really great turn out, contacts were gained, and most importantly more people have been informed about our cause. I have posted a few photos of the event below,  for more details you can visit the CreateACTity website at: www.createactivity.org

Although all of the advancements with the business have been great, I needed a little time to escape and get back into the elements to clear my mind, rest, and put my mental state back in a place that allows for me to keep going. To remedy this, I took a trip to Mammoth for the weekend. There is nothing like nature to stabilize the mind and re-charge the battery. The more that I work for little to no income and sacrifice the luxury of a bed and room/space of my own (the income I currently earn goes towards: food, gas, minimal bills needed to continue on the mission, and operational costs of CreateACTivity) to create a sustainable non profit, time away to regroup and recharge has become a necessity. Without it, it is easy to feel crowded by the world around me, overwhelmed with follow up work, and attain a state of mind that lacks creativity. Just thought I would give a fair warning to anyone looking to take on a similar mission. Refreshed and energized from the weekend, I am ready to get back to work... and am putting the intention out there to be a little more consistent with my blog updates. 

Best,

Es-Bee

New Specs..

Oh yea! I got new specs! I can see a lot clearer now, in more ways than with just my eyes ;)

The Ups and Downs

 

Back again, still working towards keeping my promise to document my story. Through the last few weeks it is apparent that I am embracing the ups and the downs of this process. It is amazing to watch something be created from nothing, and at times I feel there is not much worth documenting during the moments when I seem to be stuck in the trenches. The highs and lows of creating your own business and feeling successful in the "non-profit" arena come quick and close between. At times I feel unstoppable and on top of the world, then the following day can knock me right back down into humble town.

To shed some light on the successes of the last few weeks, I would like to share with you a few sentences focused on the progressions that have been made since last time I wrote. About a week ago I sent out an email to my contact base asking for help in funding the operation costs for the start up costs of a current CreateACTivity project. The project focuses on asking for-profit companies within the skin care and beauty industries to give back a portion of sales towards helping fund the facial reconstructions of Noma victims in return for cause-marketing and advertisement opportunities. Much to my surprise, very few of my close friends and family responded to the email. However, I did receive emails from two skin care companies interested in and willing to commit to giving back a portion of sales to help those less fortunate. This is a huge progression in launching CreateACTivity's project, and proves that our concept will work on a larger scale. On a personal level, I learned to count more on my personal contacts over people who I have met once or twice, that promise a lot and deliver very little.

Now feeling gratitude and a surge of creative energy when reflecting on the latest progressions, I do admit that I was in a small depression-like state over the last several days. It seems with putting forward so much energy into something you truly believe in, it is easy to get attached to the state of euphoria that happens when watching your manifestations come to reality. Adversely, because that state of euphoria creates such a vibrational high, it can often be emotionally challenging during the dry spells when the proof of advancements are camouflaged by the day to day work that it takes to create the events that cause those high vibrational euphoric states. For lack of a better analogy, put simply, it is like having a child and watching that child grow and go off to kindergarten for the first time. The time seems to go so fast that you hardly notice how much that child has changed and grown. The first day of kindergarten is bittersweet in that you are proud of your child for their progression, but the absence of the child can cause low emotional states.

Although the downs can often times be a struggle to push through, the ups make the process well worth the challenge and I would not trade what I am learning mentally and spiritually for anything. To be quite honest, the process is almost addicting. One thing that has helped me to push through the troughs has been the ability to share the process with a like minded female social entrepreneur that can relate to the process. With lack of a business partner, I am lucky that I am able to share experiences with a friend of mine that was introduced to me about a year ago at an event for charity. I've found comfort and motivation in having someone to converse the day to day triumphs and tribulations.  Although we have very different business models and business concepts, the struggles and actions towards progressions are very much the same. After realizing the similarities and noticing that we have a plethora of stored information to share with each other to help one another along this sometimes lonely journey, this friend of mine and I meet regularly to exchange information and help each other find outlets to creating solutions to business challenges. And even when there doesn't seem to be a solution, it helps to have an open ear to someone who can relate and understand the ups and the downs.

Looking forward to more frequent high vibrational euphoric states of progress, and sending a quick thanks to the universe that I am on the right path. Currently, I write this from a local Los Angeles coffee shop, where I just befriended a barista, who's boyfriend is a lawyer that specializes in drafting contracts and is highly educated in non-profit law. Over the past two months I have been looking for a lawyer that would be willing to help draft contracts for CreateACTivity to work with for-profit businesses that wish to donate a portion of sales. Thankful for the validation, and excited to take one more step forward on the directionless road to help provide sustainable solutions for individuals living without the basic essentials needed to survive.


All My Best,

Es-Bee

Where Do I Start....

To be quite honest, I am not much in the mood to blog today, but feel it is essential I continue to fill the commitment I made a few posts ago. It is beautiful outside today, and I'm going to be a bit selfish and keep this short so I can go enjoy the outdoors. To say the least, so much has happened, is happening. I can't seem to write as fast as thoughts come to my head. Last time I left you with a "Not So Perfect Speaking Opportunity," only to welcome you with an introduction of gaining my first international speaking opportunity. As of yesterday, my topic was accepted for the Medical Tourism Congress in Costa Rica. In reading the letter of acceptance, I was pleased to hear that the board in charge of putting the conference together has a non profit organization that is launching a project during the conference that will help to provide medical assistance to individuals who cannot afford medical treatment. After reviewing my presentation from the Los Angeles conference, I was asked if it would be of interest to tailor my presentation in a manner that will help the introduction/launch of this new project.

To further the excitement, I am pleased that individuals from all areas of the creative business world have been contacting CreateACTivty to offer their services at minimal to no cost to help us grow. Because of these amazingly generous individuals, we will be able to grow visually in graphic design, create contracts to protect us in future collaborations with for profit companies, create a more professional presents via internet, and most important gain funding to keep us focused towards our mission. For this, I am so thankful and very much look forward to watching the growth of our current projects.

Personally a lot has happened as well. I have watched myself jump on the train of old belief patterns (thankfully quick enough to make a conscious choice to get off and choose a different destination).
I've realized insecurities and discovered hidden confidence.  I've faced old fears and brought on some new ones... but ready to explore and defeat each and every one of them. Including, but not limited to "fear of cameras," as seen below.

Best,
ES-BEE

Much Less Than Perfect Speaking Opportunity

Two days ago, I had the opportunity to speak about victims of Noma to a room of about 50 beauty industry professionals at a Beauty Industry West meeting geared towards the concept of giving. Sitting in a room of individuals in the manufacturing side of the beauty industry, it was welcoming to see some familiar faces and somewhat interesting introducing myself wearing a new hat, and as a guest to a meeting I used to attend quite regularly. As I sat down in a seat that was picked for me, I engaged in a conversation with a pleasant gentleman involved in selling cosmetic product packaging. We conversed about our background, he asked me about sales, and my interest in it, my outlook on selling in the current economy and so forth, as well as, our feelings towards or current lines of work. After some small talk and a few bites of Ravioli, I was called up to the front to share about the work of CreateACTivity, and share the story of victims of Noma. As I stood up at the front, waiting to share with the room one of my biggest passions, I was thrown off by the technical difficulties of a projector that was unable to project my presentation for no other reason than a mismatched plug. Almost at a loss for words, I did the best I could with the lack of resources and near energetic breakdown that I had come over me due to the fact that I would be unable to share images that illuminate the severity of Noma and importance in getting aid to individuals living with the effects of the infection.

Angry at myself for what I felt was a lost opportunity, I slowly realized that the reason for the projector issues may have just been that it was not the appropriate timing for that particular audience in sharing such heavy material. The main gift of the experience was the gentleman sitting next to me that had asked about my past background, and sales interests... when I sat back down at the table, the gentleman looked me straight in the eye and asked me if I founded CreateACTivity, after my short reply of "Yes," he proceeded to ask two more questions. The first question (in a beautiful Australian accent), "Your interest in this is a life choice, isn't it?". My response, "Yes". Second question: "Aren't you scared?" My response, more calm than assured than ever before, "Absolutely not, I know this is what I am supposed to do. I am still in sales, however, now I understand the why the sale is important."

Although it took a while for the anger and frustration of a much less than perfect presentation to brush off my shoulder, I was thankful for the man that sat next to me. For the opportunity to share a little bit about my current adventure with faces of the past, and get to know some fresh new faces within the beauty industry.  I am thankful for Beauty Industry West, and the individuals involved that gave me the opportunity to be present with them during their yearly meeting geared towards giving.

Quick, But Essential

This post is going to be quick, but I feel it is essential. I find that it is always easier to write about the triumphs and successes, and a little harder to push myself to the keyboard on those days where the energy feels sucked out of you. Today was one of those energy draining days, but I think the energy was drained so that new energy can flow in.

The day started with a phone call to my father, only to find out that he just so happened to be browsing on a job posting website and found that his boss had posted his position (to hire a new person in his place) on the site. My father (the amazing man that he is, a man who I believe can conquer anything life hands him) had not a sign of stress in his voice. When I asked him how he felt he told me that he asked himself "What would Sara do?" So, I asked him: "What would I do?" His response was perfect. He told me that getting the job allowed him to make a positive shift in his life, and that he was grateful for that, that he had passed his final test and it was time to move on to new opportunities. Without hesitation, he went into work to continue his day, only to be greeted by a customer who "unintentionally," gave him a heads up of a job opening with a competitor down the street.

Following the phone call with my father, I wrote the owner of the boat and let him know I that I was going to have to turn down the opportunity of living in his warn in water cabin. The space just needs too much work, when I am not exactly too sure where the winds of tomorrow will be taking me. Also, the bathrooms and showers next to the dock are out of commission at the moment, and as much as I do not mind roughing it, I do appreciate showers and and flush-able commodes. Long story short, the keys were returned and the boat bid fair well. I do still think I will spend some time on the water in the future, this particular space and time, just wasn't the right lock and key (considering there was no way to lock it with a key, haha).


That is the update of the day, I'm calling it a night.

Es-Bee

The Un-planning Process

The last time I posted, I was visioning boat life in the marina ... calm and relaxed, in my own space, having the comfort of a regularly paid income, paying some dues for rent like the common folk, and having an area to focus on business plans/visions... slowing things down a bit for the sake of putting together plans for the future of CreaACTivity and attempting to have a place of comfort to bring business related or personal company to  if I so chose.  I had also declined speaking in Singapore due to the conference board's unwillingness in paying for travel expenses, and had accepted the lost opportunity without having any emotional attachment towards going (or not going) to the event. ... I'd love to say that everything is going smoothly and exactly as I planned, but what kind of story would that be?

Since the last update, the boat was "cleaned" out, and the keys were handed over. Turns out my perception of clean is a lot different than the boat owners perception of clean. What was described to me as a lovely, comfortable, Tempur-Pedic mattress, is actually two moldy pieces of Tempur-Pedic mattress material. What was described to me as bleached and watered down, is actually dusty, un-swept or vacuumed, and not wiped down at all. But to say the least, I still love the guy for his adventurous attitude and desire to keep his worn in water vessel by renting it out to an adventurous/semi crazy individual such as myself. After leaving the boat and thinking about how much it would cost me to get the thing into, by my standards, a livable condition I started contemplating if it would be worth the effort and began to walk to my car currently packed with all of my belongings. As I left the dock, my telephone rang, and up pops a phone number that I haven't seen in months from the lovely gentleman that invited a friend of mine and I to Haiti in May of this past year. The reason for the call... to derail my planning process. For the third time this year, I was asked if I would be willing to move to Haiti to do some on the ground work in helping provide the necessities needed to survive the dire circumstances many are currently living with in Port Au Prince. The necessity I would be working with this time around ... sanitary water. My response to the phone call... "When do I leave?"

Obviously, there are matters here that I can't just leave behind. With the possibility of CreateACTivity gaining some publicity, donors, and getting our first project off the ground along with potential website upgrade ... there is a lot to be done, and a lot to think about if I was to take off to Haiti. However, there is a lot that I can learn from the experience as well that would only give me a larger understanding to helping those in poverty, and gaining connections to powerful people capable of creating positive change. A lot to think about, but I know all will happen as it is supposed to. I am realizing that  I am really not in charge of any of this, but merely along for the ride.

Another random "by chance" moment happened at work the other day as well, when a co-worker mentioned to me that most of my clients seem to be involved with non-profits. Not thinking too much of it, I went to greet my next client only to find out that she had just spent the previous day volunteering for Habitat For Humanity. I'd love to say it was coincidence, however, the client  that followed her just so happened to worked with a company that matches celebrities and professional athletes with charities. One of the athletes she currently works with is Yao Ming, of the Houston Rockets....who I  happened to (literally) bump into last week in the elevator of the hotel I was staying at because the house I was living in was, by chance, being renovated due to a leaky roof and pipes.

Now for the update on the Singapore conference. Yes, I know, I didn't think there would be an update in regards to this either. I sent the conference board a message declining the speaking opportunity without any expectation of a response back, only to be greeted with their desire to explore cross marketing opportunities. Let the exploration begin.

I also am rocking crooked glasses because I seem to have lost one of my last contacts down the drain... which is probably a blessing because I think it was giving me an eye infection. Can't totally afford new glasses or contacts... but figure the lesson is that I am not supposed to see to far ahead.


More updates soon,

Es-Bee

Attempting to Commit to My Promise!

In attempt to commit to my promise, here I am again, blogging away. 

So yesterday, yesterday was interesting (as is everyday). 

It started out with a little part time work to pay the bills, which was fun. A 6'5 guy with a broken arm, (clothing that looked pretty new) came in to our spa to get a massage, so we have him fill out some medical paperwork and got him into session. He then chooses to upgrade his session to a longer length of time. After about five minutes into his session, the security guard for our complex comes in and asks where the guy is, I respond to him that he is in session. The security guard then asked me how he was going to pay, and let me know that he just walked out of the hair salon up the street after his hair cut, and notified the salon that he didn't have any money. We stopped his session, and the guy walks out, hangs out with the security guard for a bit, and then chats with the cops for a little while before they take him to jail. Too tell you the truth, can't blame the guy for trying ... free haircut, free massage, little "cab ride" around LA, a free meal, and I'm pretty sure jail is warmer than where he stayed the night previous.. Couldn't have been too bad of a day!

After work, I went to work, answering emails, balancing finances for CreateACTivity, and communicating with some interns on our newest project. Long story short, I contact a gentleman that saw me speak at the Medical Tourism Congress, only to find out that he is interested in helping fund the current project that we are working on! Turns out he will be heading to Las Vegas this month, and there just so happens to be deals on flights to Vegas right now( according to the email from Jet Blue and Southwest that I received in my inbox last night). Thank you universe, yet another verification that I am where I am supposed to be. 

Mid afternoon, I went to check out the boat. Met the owner of the boat at the dock, he was wearing almost the exact same outfit as myself (jeans, black leather jacket, and some checkered print underneath), so to say the least, I could tell we would get a long. Finding out that one can't "live" on a boat in the marina, but you can hang out on a boat and sleep on a boat, and spend four nights a week on a boat, I learned that there will be no living on a boat, however, I may choose to watch the boat for a bit. As you can see by the picture below, it does need some work, a feminine touch per say. 

Oh yea! And I declined Singapore, they were only willing to wave fees for the conference, but not pay travel expenses. The cost of going to Singapore would easily be about five facial reconstructions for victims living with the effects of Noma, and I can't justify the expenses it would take to get me there. 

Well, I am off to start todays adventure. I will keep you posted. 

Loving Life, 

Es-Bee 

A Little Inspiration From My Father

Thanksgiving now past, and having a few spare moments to reflect on all of the things I am thankful for within this past year and in my life, I write this blog post with gratitude for my number one support system, my Father. Called my dad up tonight to let him know which couch, and in what city, I am sleeping in for the night, and with a boast of laughter he asked me if I have been writing "this all" down. I informed him I have here and there, and he encouraged me to write more often because "people are going to want to read it" and I "need to write a book for people to share the experience." He shared with me that he loves listening to my stories so that he can learn how to do it himself. So with gratitude to my father, I am picking up where I left off.

Last time I wrote, I had just spoke at the International Medical Tourism Congress in Los Angeles. Since then, the communal living situation that I had joined last November has came to an end. One of the girls I lived with took off to bike across the Middle East with dreams of a destination in Nepal, the other roommate took  on a month exploration in Brazil and plans to return home for a bit of couch surfing til' she books a flight to Europe, and as for the lovely and kind mother and daughter duo... well, they needed some alone time, free of late night entrances, broken appliances, and vanishing honey and peanut butter jars. As for me, I just checked out a place for rent with a chicken coop in the back yard, looking at a sailboat for rent tomorrow, and at one point I stayed in six different cities in six days without considering myself "out of town."

On a the business side of things, since the Los Angeles International Medical Tourism Congress, I have been asked to speak in Singapore and Costa Rica this upcoming year, as well as, being considered to deliver my information and presentation to the marketing department at University of Las Vegas and an unannounced college in Florida. I have started a new project for CreateACTivity (the non profit I started in November) and look forward to bridging my love for the skin care industry together to with a great cause that provides facial reconstructions to people suffering from the effects of Noma.

As far as adventures, I am not sure I have that much to share other than a random trip to NYC to see the Big Apple for the first time with a close friend and sister from another life. Had the pleasure of taking a stroll though central park, seeing my first Broadway play, meeting up with a friend for a stroll along the "Skyline", and hopping on the subways just to see where I'd end up.

Thanksgiving now past, I have a lot to be thankful for. For this post and updates to come, "Thank you" to my father for believing in my desire to help the lives of others, and supporting my altered vision of success... single father of two, incredible artist, rarely serious, always sarcastic, embarrassingly sarcastic, dear friend... you are an inspiration.

Reflecting Forward

To say the least, I have procrastinated horribly at updating regularly. I believe this is because when I started this endeavor, the vision of what I thought it would be, is completely different than what the journey has become. I took the time recently to read back through my first blog posts, and to be quite honest have wanted to delete them and start over. However, if I were to do that the story would not be authentic, so with much embrace they will remain. I started with some stories of individuals doing amazing things to do much good in this world, and somehow faulted into blogs of self reflection. The truth is, eleven months ago I was naive. I had a picture in my head of how I thought this process would progress and a vision of what the road would look like. The truth is, I am still naive. The only difference is, I believe I have learned to embrace it.

Part of the beautiful thing about life is that we can not predict it nor control it. Part of my hesitation in following my passions was, one, the fear of failing, and two, the fear that the reality would be different than the dream that I had created in my head. Well, lucky for me, within the past eleven months, both have happened. I have failed several times as far as how to accomplish simple business related tasks, but am thankful because through each failure I have been able to utilize it as an opportunity to turn the failure into a success. Secondly, I am learning to let go of any expectations that I might have created, because although the dream and reality share commonalities, they are never the same and the reality is never happens in the way that we have imagined.

This past week I had the opportunity to speak at the 3rd Annual Medical and Wellness Tourism Congress at the Hyatt in Los Angeles.  On September 22nd, 23rd, and 24th, about 2,000+ medical and wellness professionals from around the world came together to network, to share information, and to build relationships to expand in the arena of medical and welness tourism. Speaking in front of people regarding particular world issues is something that I had pictured myself doing, however, I quite honestly pictured the path being more of a struggle. I guess I pictured a few failures before people became willing to listen and be receptive to the information that I  have to share. Much different than the image I had created, it has been a beautiful and heart-warming experience to see the connections that have been built off of a twenty minute presentation regarding cause-related marketing.

As my email box continues to grow with encouragement from individuals from the Medical and Wellness Tourism Congress, or individuals that have heard about the cause after the event from someone who attended event, I look forward to the new conversations of progression. And as a reflection forward, choose to embrace the un-dreamed journey in order (or in many cases disorder) to provide knowledge about particular situations of people in poverty and work to integrate ways that current and upcoming challenges can subside and be resolved through passion, talent,  and creativity.

Trust In The Process

Wow! It's been a while since I have written on my reflections of this process and I feel there are so many things I could write about. I just spent some time looking over my past blog posts and it is extremely interesting not only to look back at portions of this journey, but also realizing the shift in my actions and how I process information. One of the most beautiful things about this process is that it is an exploration. As I look at old blog posts I remember having a vision of how I imagined all of this unfolding, and although some events have mimicked those visions, nothing happens the way it is planned out by the conscious mind.

This blog was basically the beginning of making a dream a reality. It was the easiest way for me to put the intentions of my life desires and desires to raise awareness about particular causes into a more physical state and push them out into the world. On a deeper level,  (although I had no idea at the time this blog was created) it was the beginning of my ability to allow the power of thought and intention to create my current surroundings, stepping into different perspectives, and trusting that thoughts and intentions facilitate actuality.

After I returned from Haiti, I felt the need to shut the outside world out for a while, to think, to write, to process, to focus on the information presented on the trip, and how I wanted to proceed in using that information to move forward. After seeing the destruction in Haiti, I can see how one might question their ability to make a difference. However, for me, my thought process was the opposite, it solidified a knowing/comfort within myself that I am "supposed" to be in this line of work. Long story short, with putting the intention out there for some time of solitude, I found myself in the country side of  Northern California for a few weeks. After some much needed alone time, I was able to sit on my emotions and further spread the fruit of my intentions through meditation and self reflection.

Subsequently after return to Los Angeles from Northern California there has been many shifts. After returning, I managed to manifest a change in living situation. It is exciting to know that I will be moving within the next few months, yet have no idea where, with who, for how long, with very minimal funds... oddly enough, I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I am supposed to get rid of more belongings. I'm looking forward to a time of new energy and with new energy will come new adventures. The other change that has come from my return is a cascade of new and seemingly never ending contacts. From beauty pageant contestants, to university professors, to founders of NGO's throughout Africa ... contacts on top of contacts of people that want to help my somewhat crazy visions and ideas have been flooding in. These new contacts are only reasurance that all will work as it is supposed. Although learning to trust the process has been a process in itself, it is exciting to whole heartedly accept the open road I have stepped onto, embrace the fears that have surfaced and will eventually subside, and welcome the expedition that lies ahead.

Es-Bee

Hope In The Smiles Of Haiti

 

It's been several days of attempting to write this blog post, finally here it is. I guess you can say that I am at loss of words, however, I am not sure words are capable of describing the emotions and experiences of the days I recently spent in Haiti. As I flew into Port Au Prince without any expectations of what might touch my eyes and mind, I knew that there was no way to prepare for the type of enlightenment that I was about to encounter. Greeted by heart-felt, soulful Hatian music as we descended down the elevator of the airport for-shadowing the journey that was about to follow, I embraced the vivacity of the vibrations as the music absorbed into my skin.

Embarking on a four and a half hour bus ride from Port Au Prince to Les Cayes, the visuals were more shocking than ever expected. However, the smiles and the waving hands of civilians as we traveled through the streets overpowered the overwhelming destruction of buildings. Emersed with penetrating views of buildings decimated to the extent that you can not help but think of the lives that struggled underneath the rubble, tent city after tent city, people diligently working to rebuild their community, and determined faces with big bright eyes filled with endurance and strength. Taking in these views it was clear to see the importance and need for the work of Life Giving Force (www.lifegivingforce.org) and World Orphan Project (www.worldorphanproject.org) in Haiti.

Apon arrival of at the orphanage in Les Cayes we received a warm welcome from children chasing our bus up the hill until we came to a stop, waiting patiently for the doors of the bus to open, and looking in with smiling eyes. The kids slightly shy as first when given an extended arm, but within just a few minutes they latched on to any extended limb that they could grab onto. Pointing out my freckles, pushing my skin to watch the color change from slightly tan, to pink, to white, and back to its original color, braiding my hair, moving my hair out of my face, and pointing any exposed scars or bug bites. They were mesmerized by the smallest details and studied every characteristic. This particular orphanage had an estimated 230 kids before the earthquake, and now has approximately 345 kids. Looking into the eyes of these children, seeing their ability to love unconditionally and their craving for touch and attention, it was difficult to imagine the journey and circumstances that lead them to surround me outside of the bus. The amazing part of this experience though, is that one usually would want to exert sympathy or remorse to the situation of these kids, but I have to say my emotions were quite different. These kids have some of the biggest, brightest smiles that I have ever seen and laughs that could shatter any frown of sadness or destitute.  They found happiness in the simplest pleasures, shared when given the smallest portion of something to share, and watched out for each others well beings. These kids are survivors, and many (with the help of creditable organizations working for their health and education) are future leaders not only to their community, but possible examples to the world if we continue to believe in them.

This brings leads me to a quick side note: Haiti needs more than just "donations". Before I left for my trip, many people did not want me to go, they told me that they donated to Haiti, and that it would be better for me to have the expense of my flight, food, etc. donated. In many cases I believe this is true, however, there is also a need for organizations that have a sustainable plan that can be implemented to increase the longevity of donations given without utilizing the money in ways that use valuable resources or only provide a quick fix. In order to create sustainable solutions, it takes groups of people (minds) coming together and discussing ideas and possibilities... weighing out possible threats and challenges that might waste time, energy, and valuable resources. I was lucky to engage in some of this activity during this trip, adding input to an educational training for the children to learn how to use computers, learning about sustainable water solutions for the orphanage other locations dedicated to disaster relief, adding a different perspective, input, and/or knowledge from experience to any ideas that were discussed during the trip, and most of all connecting with the extremely talented and knowledgeable people that make up Life Giving Force and World Orphan Project leading to friendships, productivity, and connections that will last much longer than the dates that defined our trip.

Still absorbing and analyzing many of the emotions that came from this trip, there are many experiences that will remain unwritten to the public eye. This is not due to shock factor or extreme emotion, but merely the fact that  I do not feel that I can accurately describe these experiences without projecting a false image of the beautiful country of Haiti. New realizations and deeper understandings arise whenever I bring myself back to these experiences. Nonetheless, there are some very concrete messages that I do have from the trip, that can be simplified into acknowledging the pure strength of Haiti. Acknowledge the beauty of the land and the people, the potency of the potential triumph to overcome the destruction, and the bright futures that are embedded in the eyes of the orphans. With this, there is a need to give more than a donation, keep them in your thoughts, read their stories, use the power of thought to send positive reinforcement, and support and encourage organizations with sustainable plans and solutions that helping these individuals rise over the challenges that are currently facing. Haiti is strong, is beautiful, is powerful, and with help and encouragement will continued to share the stories of triumph and shine its bright light.

A Quick Get A Way

I recently had the privilege to go on a funded trip to Cabo San Lucas to stay at a beautiful resort that was built into the cliffs along the Pacific Ocean. I had the opportunity to relax, clear my head, and get the creative juices flowing again. Throughout my short life I have been very privileged to get to see and experience some very luxurious resorts, hotels, restaurants, houses, and venues. For all of these experiences I am extremely thankful because it has opened my eyes to a lot of different perspectives. It always amazes me to see how man creates structures to allude and determine a sense of royalty and luxury. It is no doubt that these places are often built with views of some of the most beautiful landscapes and views of the ocean.  Whenever I have had the opportunity to go to these "luxurious" places, a reoccurring thought seems to always come to me as I sit and look at the architecture of the buildings, the columns, the illuminated pool, or the position of the window to the kitchen or dining room to accentuate the most valued view. That reoccurring thought seems to take me through a sense of amazement that humans have the ability to create such a massive or intricate structure, to the amount of hard work, dedication, and attentiveness to detail that it took to plan and build the structure, to my final thought of how quickly a greater force than man-kind has the ability to wipe the structure away in as little as a few seconds.

On this particular trip, I looked at the beautiful landscape of the property and the view, and then imagined what the land would look and feel like without the massive structure. Without the lights. Under the stars. With nothing but the soil under my feet. The same views, only surrounded by nothing but nature. I thought to myself of the power that the ladscape held with the structure versus and the power that the of the landscape held without the structure. It was interesting to feel the difference of both possibilities and surprisingly found that I was more empowered by the idea of the landscape without the structure that seemed to hold a false impression of luxury.  One seemed to hold the power of man, the other appeared to hold a force much greater than man could ever create.

Don't get me wrong, I very much appreciate the opportunity to experience the lifestyle of going to a very luxurious destination and indulging in what some believe to be "the finer things in life," for if I did not have this opportunity I may have always wondered what it would be like or have a false impression or judgement of the people who prefer the luxurious destination resort vacation. I can tell you that it was once easy for me to cast judgments on others that choose to live a different lifestyle, and that whenever I have chosen to make judgements on people, I am usually always proven wrong. On this particular trip I met a very creditable doctor located in Los Angeles that was very interested in connecting me with people who he felt would be able to help me with my organization and helping victims of Noma, a newly wed that desires to start a non-profit to help children in need, and nurse who hopes to advance into educating women about the skills of nursing internationally so that they can utilize the knowledge within their communities that lack medical attention and infrastructure.

On this trip I was most thankful for a very specific incident that happened. I recently read a book that inspired me to look into a crowd whenever I was out and about and search for one face/stranger to be thankful for. Ever since I read this book, I have made an effort to do this in my daily life. While taking the bus from the resort to the city I saw a man with Podoconiosis (similar to elephantitis, effecting the foot) crossing the street. I first learned about Podoconiosis through an company named Toms Shoes. About 2 and a half years ago I had the opportunity to join this company in Argentina to give shoes to children in need. When I returned home and found out what they were doing to help increase awareness and stop Podoconiosis, I worked to come up with a treatment to donate to the non profit side of their company to help reduce the discomfort of this particular disease in the individuals that it effects. As I watched this man cross the street, and watched the faces of the other passengers in the bus as they looked at the disfigurement of this man, I was so thankful that he had crossed my path. Because he just so happened to cross the street at the exact moment that our bus was coming down the hill from the resort, I was able to share my knowledge of the disease to the others in the bus so that they might have a better understanding of why this mans leg was enlarged. I watched the man struggle with discomfort to cross the street,  and let my eyes travel up to his face. The man smiled one of the biggest smiles that I have ever seen, and I thanked him for entering my life, allowing me to be even more grateful for how lucky I am, and allowing me to share my story with the other passengers that accompanied me on that particular day.

Now back home, thankful for my trip, the insight that came with the experience, and the opportunity to relax and recollect, I am very motivated to move forward in with all that createACTivity has been working on to increase awareness about Noma. This next week is a very busy week, and I look forward to entering it with a clear and opened mind.